Blessed Silence
by Butterfly in a Hurricane
Summary: What if the end of 'The Year That Never Was' went differently. My idea of the ending I would have liked to have seen. Still a character death though.


**(Okay, I'm fully aware that this is rather OCC, relatively short and not terribly good, but it's my first Doctor/Master fic. Once again, thanks go to the wonderful Raura-chan for her support and beta-ing. Without her, this story would be absolutely unreadable as my grammar went out the window in first grade. :P.)**

**(I don't own Doctor Who, because if I did, no-one would ever see John Simms, David Tennant or John Barrowman again... :D. We all know why... Doctor Who belongs to the BBC and the writers *sniff sniff* Song extracts are taken from Evanescence's 'Bring Me To Life')**

The Doctor's eyes burned into mine. Rather like the bullet burned in the centre of my chest. Breathing suddenly got incredibly difficult. I could feel the regenerative energy trying to break out, but I forced it back. I couldn't, not here. There had to be some other option, there always was. A wink of light drew my attention. I couldn't regenerate here, so instead, I began to channel the energy into the ridiculous piece of jewellery circling my finger. Its toll was... immense. Of all the regenerations I've ever had, this had to be the worst. Pain tore along the path from the base of my neck to the tips of my fingers. My vision flashed black and white as my back arched in agony. But one thing never changed. The Doctor's dark eyes still searched mine, looking for the answer. He always believed there had to be an answer.

How can you see into my eyes like open doors?  
Leading you down into my core where I've become so numb

He got further than anyone ever had before. His consciousness brushed mine as his mind probed deeper, trying to find his answer. The immersion into my mind felt like a... there are no words to describe it. It was burning, yet freezing, familiar, yet alien, comforting, yet awkward. He had done this before, but that was eons ago, in the safety of the walls of the Training Academy but I'd never let him get this deep. I had almost forgotten this part of me existed. This was how they described it at school. When two minds join, the two essences merge. It had always sounded impossible, as if something so perfect and pure could never happen.

_Without a soul_

_My spirit's sleeping somewhere cold_

Warmth spread across my chest as I tried to push him out. I couldn't, the drain to my ring was too taxing. I was in the one place I never wanted to be. It brought back too many painful memories. Yet, I always yearned to come back to this place again. I stared upwards as the Doctor's doe eyes filled with stars and burning lights.

"I'm dying in your arms. Is this what you wanted?" It was more than just the irony of the situation. I was testing the water. I wanted to see if he still felt the same way I did, even after all I've done. Koschei wouldn't have had to ask, but I did.

For the second time in my life, I was trapped in his embrace and completely powerless.

*****

_Silence enforced it's rule over the second-year students of the Academy. Forty-eight quills scratched paper in unison. There where, in fact, fifty pupils in the group. Theta_ and Koschei_sat together in the classroom. They where supposed to be paying attention to the Appreciation of Lower Cultures lesson, but as the two highest students in the Academy they had deemed it unnecessary. After all, what was the point in relearning something you had mastered months ago? As the Lecturer droned on and other students took notes, Koschei and Theta where debating mentally about what they would be doing tonight. Deeply emerged in each other minds, Koschei voiced his objections._

Chess_? He thought, disbelievingly_. Why would you want to play something as rudimentary as that?

Call it, curiosity _Theta_ _replied while shifting one of his books._ I have the rules right here

_Koschei took the page and scanned it for several seconds. A rare smile graced his features. _It's so barbaric, I don't know where to being. It seems to be based on violence. Knights, pawns, queens and bishops. It's primeval.

_Annoyance washed through Theta's mind and because Koschei was imbedded in it, he experienced Theta's feelings to their full extent. Theta was pissed._

On Earth, they will use this game to test their mental capabilities. Their geniuses will be experts in the 'battle board'. _Theta thought, _I think it sounds fascinating.

_Koschei's smile grew in size. He knew all about Theta's obsession with the human race. Apparently their "imagination, heart, soul, sheer determination and utter brilliance" made them unique from all the other races in the galaxy. Koschei failed to see what was so brilliant about them. _

From what I've read, their 'geniuses' are little more than monkeys that have the occasional brainwave. How about Meelven Mind-jabbing? Now there is a game. _Koschei sounded significantly more cheerful._

You only like it because you've beaten me five times in a row.

Yup, I'm on a roll. _Koschei glanced at Theta, _so how about it?

_That was when the drums first started. The rapid four-beat rhythm that pulsed through is mind, eradicating all thought. It echoed, bounced, reverberated, rebounded, diffracted and pounded through his head. Theta felt it to, but not to the same extent._

I don't know. _Theta replied, _I change would be...

DUN, duh duh duh, DUN

_Koschei gasped as the ultrasound pulse signalled for the end of class. The rhythm seemed to knock the air out of Koschei's lungs. His eyes widened as he doubled over, gasping for breath. Theta felt it too. _

Duh duh duh DUN

_Koschei gritted his teeth against the pain. Everyone had left now, except Theta. Theta stood, looking down at his friend with concern and traces of panic evident on his face as Koschei doubled over, his breath quick and shallow. _

Duh duh duh DUN

_The sound pounded though Koschei entire body. His vision flickered as a red haze descended over his eyes. Koschei was vaguely aware of Theta shaking his arm and shouting. All sound was blocked out except for the constant drumming. Sharp pains where driven through his entire body, strength ebbing out of him every second. Koschei tried to scream, to even blink, but the drumming had completely taken over his body. He was nothing more than a soul trapped inside a stupid two- legged carbon form. Koschei collapsed to the floor without a sound, his eyes staring straight ahead_

_Theta crouched down and picked him up. Koschei felt like a child in his arms. Even Theta's running echoed the drumming. Doors and curious faces flew past in a blur of colour. He could still feel Theta's presence in his mind, lashing out at all the sensitive parts of his being for a response. Theta crashed down the corridor, his bare feet pounding down the marble floor, the silence rule forgotten as the drumming intensified._

Duh dun dun DUH

_Koschei's vision blanked completely, the darkness felt warm and welcoming as it enveloped him. Koschei's aching body sank into the blackness behind his eyes. Theta felt him go._

KOSCHEI!!! _Theta screamed with both his mind and voice. He felt Koschei slipping away as he crashed into the infirmary door. It didn't budge. Anger took over, survival instincts took control. Theta rammed into the door once, twice. He could still feel Koschei's consciousness, but barely. His friend was falling into the Void before him. Theta clung onto the pieces of Koschei's mind desperately as he collapsed through the door..._

_*****_

_If only I'd been quicker... _The Doctor had always blamed himself for the Master's madness. If Theta had got to the medical room quicker, perhaps they could have saved more of Koschei's mind and soul. Maybe they could have saved the Koschei Theta knew, instead of turning him into the Master and the Time Lord's 'perfect' weapon. Maybe... What if? Those two phrases would constantly haunt him. No matter how far or fast the Doctor ran, he couldn't escape his own mind.

*****

_I've been living a lie ..._

_Bring me to life_

_Frozen inside without your touch_

_Without your love darling_

_Only you are the life among the dead_

As the Doctor came back from the memory, I noticed something. The look in his eyes had changed, softened. He remembered, and that's all I needed to know. He felt the same emotions, he still cared. After the eons of fighting against him, here we where, back at square one. But, the drums where fading, growing distant and quieter. I hoped against hope that my greatest dream was coming true. My two greatest dreams where coming true. We would reset the game, and this time, I'd make sure we didn't repeat our mistakes. Not this time. Because this time, I refuse to be broken. I'm not giving in. Never again. This time, I have the Doctor. I have Theta. It may have taken me a while to realise it, but that's all I've ever needed.

I reached upwards and grabbed his, ridiculously long, coat. I felt hope blossom in my chest, or was it the pain? Even then, what was the hope from? The drums disappearing, or something else...

"The drums... Doctor," His name sounded like a prayer on my lips. Perhaps, for once, he could live up to it and make me better, "Will they stop?" For years I had felt as if the universe had piled its lot opposing me. It always made life hard, as if it had made a bet against me. The universe must have really liked the odds. How do you win against the house?

I didn't get a response from the man before me. Instead I got something worth far more. Silence. Blessed Silence. The drums turned into nothing more than a memory. The Doctor could feel it too. Any Time Lord in the vicinity would. I smiled as sudden rush of hollowness of the drums returning to where they had come from, the cold, dark vacuum of space, swept over the ship. The drums left along with the Master. That stupid title, alter-ego I had hidden behind for all these years.

My vision flickered as a red haze descended over my eyes. This is how you beat the house. You got out of the system and entered it again. The universe didn't have any control as I began the entrance into Death's domain. It would be a short stay, but I didn't mind. The drums had stopped, vanished into the void. Joy lit my eyes in a way that hadn't happened for centuries.

The Darkness felt warm and peaceful as it enveloped me. I sank my aching body into the welcoming oblivion that had gathered behind my eyes. Yet I had one thing to do before I could fully go.

"Well, imagine that." I whispered my voice dry and hoarse. I hoped the figure cradling me understood. I wanted him to understand. "I win." That was the last sight I saw. The Doctor's eyes still searching mine, trying to read me. I let him in. Now he knew. The Master was dying, but Koschei's adventures were only beginning.

Just before I lost all feeling I could sense a small, cold tear dropping onto my cheek, soon joined by a second. A tear for the grief, and another for joy. With a faint smile, Death with his grey stallion claimed dominance and we walked into the silent land together.

**(Did you like it, hate it, wanna burn it, or shoot me for writing it??? Well, then tell me and I'll know what not to write in the future. I only posted this now because I have the idea that the upcoming Christmas two-parter is going to involve a lot of Kleenex and turn everyone against the Master. Probably me too... I'm a bit unsure about the ending, not matter what Raura-chan says. All reviews get a free hug, and a banana if I can manage to liberate them...)**


End file.
